I get asked this question all the time, usually from people who either don’t enjoy that genre or people who haven’t tried it yet. I’ve thought about this quite a bit, actually. It’s one of those things that is a fact but the why of it takes some thinking.
1. In m/m romance, there are usually obstacles to overcome. The guy can’t come out because of his job, his family, fear of violence. How they meet this tension and either change someone else or learn to live with it is always interesting.
2. In the sub-genre GFY (Gay For You) stories, one or both of the men doesn’t believe he is gay, although he has feelings and an attraction for another man. This, too, is an interesting problem that must be solved for a relationship to go forward. Usually it turns out that the guy is either bisexual or gay and so far into the closet that he can’t admit even to himself that he prefers men without also conceding an unforgiveable flaw in his own personality.
3. I’m a heterosexual woman. I don’t care to read about what a woman’s pussy looks like, feels like, or how wet and tight/throbbing it is. Boobs don’t do anything for me, either. But abs, pecs, cocks, balls, and male butts, I absolutely love. I like to fantasize and imagine fondling a man’s bits and pieces, so reading about how two men touch each other is akin to how I would handle a man. There isn’t anything a man can do to another man that a woman can’t do with hands, pussy, ass, mouth or a toy.
4. No one knows better what feels good to a man than another man. That’s just common sense. He’s been there, done that.
5. The sex is usually on the rough side. Men don’t make love to a hard man like a man makes love to a soft woman. But then again, sometimes he does. It’s the variety that is interesting and makes me hot.
6. I love it when men make noise and talk to each other during sex. I doubt that this happens as much in real life as it does in books, but note to m/m writers: keep ‘em talking anyway.
So, anyone else who likes m/m, let me hear from you. What is it about two guys falling in love and falling in the bed that turns your crank? For that matter, if you really don’t cotton to m/m, let me know why not. What is it about man lovin’ that is a turn off for you? It’s all opinion, neither right nor wrong.
I get it, I started reading M/M on a fan fiction site, didn’t think I would like it, but yep, it just works. I still read everything else too, but there is a heavy dose of M/M in there now.
Great blog Becky =)
I don’t shy away from m/m books and have found a few out there that I love that I’ve read them again! Nowhere Ranch, Morning Report and Bareback have been stories where the characters were so real for me and I could ‘feel’ they way they loved their men. Just reading what their thoughts are and the way they process their feelings so differently from women makes me see them in a new light. Men are complicated creatures and I’m glad that there are authors and stories out there who give us a chance to read about their love stories.
Great explanation of why M/M is so popular.
Eileen, those are outstanding m/m books. You picked my top shelf,too.
I will admit this sub-genre used to be taboo for me, but I’m really starting to like it, and the steam level is always off the charts. Thanks for the great post Becky!
Conflict is a required element of a good story. The built-in conflict you described in reasons #1 and #2 describe that conflict very well. (“Brokeback Mountain”, anyone?) Also, I tend to stereotype the male gender as the stronger one. So for a man to assume the “more tender” role, i.e., the role of the one who is being penetrated touches my emotions. (I know, I know, that last sentence represents yet another stereotype. But isn’t that why romance and other types of storytelling work so well — because we come into the story with not just our own experiences, but also with stereotypes that help to form a background for the world that the story is creating?) Anyway, anyone who writes heterosexual romance, have you tried writing a short story featuring a gay male couple? I’ve done that recently in a 100-word story, and I enjoyed putting myself in the head of the so-called “gentler” man. Becky C, thank you for this blog.
Someone once told me watching two women together is like watching the hottest instructional video. I totally agree, with guys. The first m/m story I read was Rough, Raw and Ready by Lorelei James. It was more m/m/f, but I loved it. Reading it is so much better than watching I think. Point number 3 could have come out of my mouth, well said.
I had thought I wasn’t interested in M/M even hearing others that enjoyed it. Then All Romance gave away several this summer and well since they were free I downloaded and read them. Next thing I knew I was buying the sequels and taking a look when others came up. I think the post does a great job of saying why they appeal. So this summer I have been able to add a new bunch of books to my Want to Buy list. Now if I could just when the Lottery so I’ve the money and the time to read everything on my list.
Katy I was like you, now there are some I will read and get really into, it all depends on how they are written. I LOVED Male Order by Cassandra Dayne, it’s short, but the emotions are STRONG.
I agree with not wanting to read about women’s parts. I’m sexually attracted to men, so reading about two (or more) guys and their parts is doubly hot! There’s no distraction from the men in m/m romance.
Loved this post!
I think, to put it succinctly, men are more visual, as we know, so they get off on lesbian porn. Women love to read and imagine,hence the m/m section does so well. Simple but I like to think it holds true.
Well said and explained.
Oh, and I know quite a few bi- females that would still stand by your #3.
There’s just something sexy and yummm about 2 (or more) guys. 😀
I LOVE that you wrote this and so happy that I found it even after all this time. I have pondered this question myself because I DO enjoy reading these books. I agree with all of your points. You are absolutely right about it all! Another question I have that maybe you can answer is this: Do men really enjoy sharing women or are all of the stories about 2, 3, or even 4 brothers (or cousins, or friends or teammates) wanting to share one woman just a storyline written because it is a common female fantasy to be with more than one man at a time? WHY would a straight man (Like Colby McKay, for example) desire that nearly all of sexual encounters (prior to meeting Channing, of course, ) be a menage? I would love to see what others think about this!
I ❤️❤️❤️ M/M so much! It’s my second favorite genre. Lol I also love that I found this post because it was listed under “posts you may like” following my book review. Sigh, you guys have sucked me into the vortex. Swoon!